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Let us help you know God better by attending monthly Bible study sessions conducted by 911 Ministries. We will provide the bible study each month on our site below. If you are interested in coming to our local bible studies, please contact us to find out where the next study will be held.

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10 Ways to Resolve Conflict in a Healthy Way

There is always the potential for conflict, whether it is with family, friends, co-workers, or anyone else. If relationships are normal, then conflict is inevitable. But conflict does not have to destroy relationships. It can actually be used to make them better. This takes initiative, practice, and a whole lot of grace. In an organizational sense, conflict is certainly a huge part of any leader's life, even for a pastor. It seems to reason that learning to deal with conflict successfully should be a big goal in life as Christians. Here are 10 suggestions to effectively handle conflict.

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Understand the Battle

Make sure you understand the real source of the conflict. Many times we address the symptoms, how it makes us feel, rather than addressing the real issue. This wastes time, frustrates people, and makes the conflict linger longer. It is normally a heart issue that is controlling what is being said (Proverbs 4:23). Discovering that is key. Make sure you ask questions to find the root issue of the problem.

Find the Right Time and Place

When emotions are running high, it is probably not a good time for dealing with the conflict. Personal conflict should never be handled in public places.

Don't be afraid to put the issue off until you have some privacy. Also, give yourself time to think things through, so that you are able to handle yourself in a godly manner.


Examine Yourself First

Sometimes, the issue can be personal to you, but the only way you know how to handle it is by blaming others for your problems. This is not a fair scenario, nor does it provide a healthy resolution to the problem. 

Look carefully at the "plank" in your own eye.

(Matthew 7:3-5). 

Consider the Other Side of the Conflict

Imagine yourself in the other persons position and consider their viewpoint (Phillipians 2:4).

Why would they think the way they think? Is it a difference in personal values, morals, or simply just a misunderstanding?

If I were in their same situation, how would I respond? Asking yourself these questions can greatly improve your understanding of how to deal with the issue.

Do not Overreact to the Issue on Emotion

The hardest thing for most people to do during a conflict is to stick to the issue at hand. When emotions are exaggerated, it disarms the other party and a healthy resolution is harder to attain. Try to control yourself from the extreme sides. Avoid phrases such as "You always..."

(Proverbs 25:28)

Do not Disguise the Issue in False Kindness

Sometimes we fail to address the conflict because we are afraid of the others response. Many times we are also afraid to hurt the other persons feelings. The avoidance will usually do more harm than good. You should be kind, but also make sure you are clear, direct, and helpful.

(Proverbs 27:5)

Do not Allow the Small Disagreements Become Large Disagreements

The way to keep most huge conflict (the kind that destroys relationships) from occurring is by confronting all of the small issues along the way. Minor conflict is always easier to handle than major conflicts. Don't allow issues to build up over time. Handle them directly as they happen.

Be Firm, but Gentle

Learn the balance between the two. It is critical in dealing with conflict. The bible tells us that a soft answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). But on the other hand, Peter tells us that we should be ready to defend our beliefs, but that our answers are to be given with gentleness and reverence (1 Peter 3:14).

Work Towards a Solution

Never waste conflict. Use it, instead, to make your relationship or organization better. Use it for a good purpose. Learn from it.

Everyone wants a win-win situation, and sometimes that may be possible. Getting to the right decision should always be the ultimate goal (Proverbs 21:3).

Grant Forgiveness Easily

Healthy conflict makes relationships stronger, but to get there, we must not hold any grudges or seek revenge. That will never move conflict forward towards a resolution. Learn the peace in grace and forgiveness. It is definitely a keeper for healthy relationships (Ephesians 4:32)

Conflict is a part of all relationships. Personal and organizational. Learn it's value.

Even as a leader, you should not shy away from conflict.

Learn how to navigate it for the overall good of the team.

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